GENTS: Hell Yes | Hell No

Hell Yes | Hell NO for the gents by Stephanie St.Claire


Many times, clients will come into my practice and, though they don’t know each other, there will be the same general issue going on with all of them. Sometimes the main problem is lack of faith in themselves, or unresolved anger from the past, or lack of motivation. During one patch of time, the trend was repeat heartbreak. Both the men and women in my practice seemed to be struggling with this. One Saturday I sat down and thought,”If I could give them a cheat sheet of basic partner-picking rules, what would it be?” The Hell Yes | Hell No post was born out of that inquiry, written for the ladies. It was my first post to go viral and read in over 126 countries.


Since that time, I have had repeated requests to do a list for the gentlemen. It didn’t come together until I had a recent conversation with my son, who is 21. Inspired by the questions he had about life, love, and relationships, and to the point, how to find a good woman – this post was born. Dedicated to all you amazing men out there who deserve a wonderful woman by your side. xo



No to the woman who punishes you for the sins of her exes, and excuses it by saying she has ‘trust issues.’


No to the woman who bombs you with her emotional drama, and then glazes over when you talk.


No to the woman whose Daddy is still taking care of her.


No to the woman who uses her sexual availability as a bargaining chip.


No to the woman who breaks your heart, but still calls you when she needs a favor.


No to the woman who makes disparaging remarks about you in a social setting.


No to the woman who doesn’t get your references, and in whose company you lose your creative edge.


No to the woman who immediately runs to booze, pills, shopping, over-exercising, religion, or her ex when there are problems.


No to the woman whose conversation centers only around the characters on Bravo.


No to the woman who is constantly evasive about her whereabouts and the company she keeps and then accuses you of being insecure and controlling.


No to the woman who tells you straight up she doesn’t trust men.


No to the woman who puts up with your cheating, lying, possessiveness, or abuse because she’s just so in love with you.


No to the woman who has a close, male friend who ‘understands her’ better than you do.


No to the woman who resents the time you spend with the guys and interrogates you after every event.


No to the woman who doesn’t make clear requests and then gets pissed off because you didn’t read her mind.




Yes to the woman who inspires you to slay your own dragons, leap over tall buildings, and be a better man.


Yes to the woman who stops what she’s doing to hug and kiss you when you walk in the door.


Yes to the woman who forgives AND forgets.


Yes to the woman whose inner beauty makes her outwardly radiant.


Yes to the woman who makes your favorite drink, kisses your cheek, and watches South Park with you after you’ve had a hard day.


Yes to the woman who is grounded in her self-worth and makes it a priority to cultivate inner-confidence and self-respect.


Yes to the woman whose mixture of moxie, sweetness, intelligence, goofiness, vulnerability, and sexiness makes you constantly wish you were behind closed doors with her.


Yes to the woman that knows there are two right ways: hers and yours.


Yes to the woman who gives you secret glances or a funny face from across a crowded room.


Yes to the woman who says thank you for the things you provide for her and speaks nicely about you to her friends and family.


Yes to the woman who will walk out your door if you become an insecure, possessive asshole when you drink.


Yes to the woman who maintains her cool during difficult conversations and doesn’t fight back with blaming, silence, lecturing, or hysteria.


Yes to the woman who will read bedtime stories to your kids and be pleasant to your ex-wife.


Yes to the woman who lights up when you walk in the room.


Yes to the woman who wants to create a private, interior world with you which includes adventure, comfort food, quiet time, tickle wars, secret missions, and days lost in bed.



Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, married 50 years. Newman once attributed their lasting union to “correct amounts of lust and respect.”


You might also dig: Hell Yes | Hell No { for the ladies }



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Are you into stuff like this? I write about modern spirituality, love, communication, generosity, and how to run a sustainable small business (while keeping your sanity). Put yourself on the list and you’ll never miss and article or a workshop. xo

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