When to Let Go

 

 
I’ve found that some of the happiest seasons of my life came after moments of clarity where I decided to let some things go. Letting go can be hard because, usually, we’re in an upsetting situation that’s forcing us to take a look at how life is going. We can’t yet see the beauty that is about to come in and take the place of what we’re letting go of, but TRUST ME! – it does come.

 

Letting Go of Painful Relationships.

 
I ran across this quote by Meredith Marple of Belong to Love: “A person who does not seek to understand you does not seek to love you.” And that explained so much about a few experiences I’ve had recently.

I think it’s painful to let someone go, but whether romantic, family, or friendship, if you’ve stated what you need in terms of communication, respect, love language, or closeness .. and the other person just doesn’t get it (or doesn’t want to) then you’ve got to let that person go.

Letting someone go doesn’t always mean you cut them off or confront them harshly .. it may just mean you wish them well but you stop relying on them to care the way you want them to. And you heal from that and find new people who love you on the level you love them.

 

Letting Go of Personal Belongings.

 
One of the coolest things I did this year after moving back to California was to sell all my furniture and start over.

These pictures are how my home looks now.
 


 

I found the perfect little 1924 vintage bungalow-style apartment and it was clear the moment I stepped in that, 1. I was in love with the space, and 2. my huge, oversized dark wood furniture was not going to work.

But, AS WE DO TO OURSELVES ALL THE TIME, I was immediately like, “Ah. I wish! But I have to find a place that will fit all my stuff.”

 

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Basically, I can’t have something I want because I have to take all my baggage with me and make it fit.

 

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Sound familiar?

The rent was $300 lower per month (yes, LOWER) than what I was budgeting, so I asked the agent if I could think about it for an hour…a big ask considering there were 3 more people coming to see it that afternoon (and an out-of-state couple who were ready to put their deposit down, RIGHT NOW A$AP Rocky, sight-unseen). She granted me an hour and I took a walk around the block to think about my options.

I realized that this apartment was an invitation to let go of a huge (but also harrowing) decade of my life that started after my broken engagement and the crash of ’08. Those two events flung me in a direction that I could’ve never predicted…a new life that redefined my career, where I lived (hello, NYC!), and my core philosophies. I’m so thankful for it, but it was also very difficult and hard won.

Goodbye huge brown Pottery Barn sleeper sofa that cuddled my kids as we commuted from LA-NYC.

Goodbye giant antique dresser that I bought with my ex-fiance two months before our wedding.

Goodbye floor-to-ceiling mirror I would check my reflection in before heading out to city interviews.

Goodbye.

I decided to orient myself around this new home, with all it’s bright sunshine and swaying palm trees, and let the old stuff go.

Yes, this meant a major downsize and simplicity to my new style. I had to wait until all my stuff was delivered from Manhattan, sell it all, and then take the money to shop.

 

 

 

Letting Go of Identities.

 
Letting go can often mean letting go a part of your identity. For instance, instead of continuing in a dead-end office job which kept me broke and barely making it, I put myself through bartending school, got a job working at a restaurant in the theater district where I worked till 4 a.m. most nights, volunteered at Landmark Education as a program coach during the day, and launched my consulting business (all at the same time).
 

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I had a big story about how I was 40!
And a mother of 3 children!
Be a bartender? How could I do this?
And then I got over it and did the thing that helped me out of the black hole.

 

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And P.S. I was once a suburban housewife with no degree or career path, who used to SEW MY OWN JUMPER DRESSES PEOPLE and had no clue how to build a business. I’ve left identity after identity to build a new one so I could thrive.

Let go of what is holding you back, diminishing your spirit, killing off your creativity and I PROMISE YOU, you will be incredibly rewarded.
 


 

 

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I’m here to help you.

If you are going through a hard time – anxious thoughts that keep you up at night, low moods that keep you from being productive, or you’re just in complete overwhelm I am here to help you.

Together, we can sort out the practical aspects of what you need to do over the next few months: how to prioritize your goals, choose between two tough decisions, what to say in a difficult conversation, how to know AND ACT upon what’s best for you. I’ve helped lots of people just like you. 🙂

As of this moment, I have two 6-week coaching spots and four single sessions available at the new lower price. Grab one if you need a listening ear, a strategic plan, and an infusion of positivity. I will more than deliver.

 

 

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Do you take things a little too personally?

 

I address this very common issue in my latest workshop that explores the reasons WHY we feel stung in certain situations. I give you a step-by-step outline of what to do when confronted, embarrassed, or hurt by someone else’s actions, what to say, and how to move on from the experience with confidence.

Read more and download

 

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